BABYBROWNSUGAR MOM: TANYA HAYLES
Tanya Hayles is the wearer of many hats. She is a freelance writer, public speaker, and and owner of creative agency rsvp+co. Her platform Black Moms Connection celebrates all things Black motherhood and is a hub for financial grants, events and programs. She operates from an abundance mindset and is passing that onto her son by creating the spaces she wants to see in the world.
Where are you based and what are your favorite things to do in the area with your family?
I am based in Toronto, Canada. I love adventures! It could be a road trip just to get fresh air or hopping on a plane to see someplace new. We also like to watch Netflix (or Disney+ and relax).
How many little ones do you have and how old are they? What do you like most about this stage in their lives?
I have one 8 year old boy, who thinks he’s 16. I like that he can wake up and feed himself breakfast. LOL. I also like that he’s inquisitive and for the most part, still thinks that I’m pretty smart.
What does your kids' bedtime routine (or non-routine) look like in your household? Do you have any rituals that you swear by?
Routine during the school year is very different from summer. In the school year, screen time runs out at the same time, bath time and bedtime have been the same since forever: dinner, bath, bed. As he gets older, the negotiation time has gotten later.
Tell us about your current role, project(s), or business(es) and what is your inspiration?
I have so many of those. LOL. I have a creative agency where I plan events, do freelance writing and public speaking. The common thread of everything I like to do is storytelling. It’s the world's oldest way of communicating and sharing a message. Getting to do that in written, spoken, or 3D form (events) keeps my creative juices flowing.
As a boss mom, what do you want to instill in your little ones?
That you can have the life you want, if you work hard for it. That the freedom to choose comes with making the right decisions early. That the world is a big place, and you are not limited to anything or anywhere. Also to go study business in college, either you will work for a company or have your own.
What is an inspirational quote or mantra that you live by?
Collaboration over competition: there’s enough sunshine for everyone. I try to keep that in mind if the green-eyed monster called envy tries to appear.
How has motherhood changed the way you move in the world?
Motherhood means dissecting every decision you do and don’t get to make because of its impact on someone’s whole personality. Specifically creating Black Moms Connection has opened doors to meeting people (Michelle Obama) and being in rooms that I could never have imagined.
What has surprised you the most about your motherhood journey?
That I’m still here. At truly how hard it is. How so much of parenting is both learning and unlearning the things you were taught and things you thought you knew and would do.
Any advice you would give to new moms?
There is no plan. You are the best mom for that child, even when you don’t feel like you are doing your best. When you feel like a failure, it’s because you care about the weight of raising a whole human being.
How do you allow others to support you as a mother and creator?
I am learning to ask for help. I am creating boundaries for myself that includes when I take calls/meetings, what I respond to, and being honest about my capacity. I also say no to the things that don’t serve me and/or make me happy.
Photo Credits: C.J Cromwell Photography, Sharifa Sidhu